I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
