If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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