She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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