I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
