ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Randomize
