I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
