Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
