and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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