dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
