i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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