no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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