My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
