we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
