I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
