Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
