You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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