I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Is it because I queefed?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
