There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
