it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
