Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
