the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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