Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
