would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
