I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
