Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
