I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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