Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
