So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
