don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
