There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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