Have you finally orgasmed yet?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
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