don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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