so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
