Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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