I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
