there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
