Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
