It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
