i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
