He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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