I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
