in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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