that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
