office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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