Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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