I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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