Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
