Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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