i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
