..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
