I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
