i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
