school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
