I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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